Reflective Observation: Learning and Growing Through the Power of Reflection

Reflecting on our experiences allows us to not only recall what happened but also to make sense of it, find meaning, and ultimately grow from it. Reflective observation is the second step in Kolb's experiential learning cycle, which encourages us to learn through experience in a cyclical process. In this stage, we take a pause to truly observe and reflect on our experiences, gleaning knowledge for building a better life.

When we put our experiences into words, we unlock new insights that might have been overlooked in the rush of daily life. Here’s how you can bring reflective observation into your memory writing. 

1. Start with the Details

When writing a memory, begin by describing the experience as specifically as possible. Bring in sensory details—the sounds, smells, colors, and textures. What did the setting look like? Who was there? What did you feel, see, and hear? As you write, you might find that these details help you reconnect with the moment. Often, by simply describing an event fully, we start to notice aspects we hadn’t seen before.

Tip: Write as though you’re painting a picture. You don’t need to be perfect—just let yourself write what comes to mind, focusing on what your senses remember.

2. Ask "Why?"

Once you’ve recorded the “what” of the experience, take a step back and ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” or “Why did I react the way I did?” Reflecting on your responses helps you get beneath the surface. Were there underlying beliefs, expectations, or desires influencing how you felt or acted?

In reflective observation, it’s less about assigning blame or judgment and more about understanding the deeper factors at play.

Tip: Be honest and kind to yourself. Reflective observation works best when we’re open and non-judgmental. Let yourself be curious about your own motivations, even if they surprise you.

3. Look for Patterns

As you build a habit of reflecting on your memories, you’ll start to notice patterns. Maybe there are certain types of situations that consistently make you feel anxious or particular settings that bring out certain responses. Identifying these patterns allows you to recognize areas where you might want to make changes

Tip: When you notice a pattern, consider asking yourself how this awareness could guide your future choices. Does it mean setting boundaries, rethinking expectations, or simply taking better care of yourself?

4. Shift Perspective

One way to deepen your reflective observation is by looking at the experience from different perspectives. How might someone else in the situation have viewed the event? What would your younger or older self think of it? This shift allows you to gain new insights, often sparking empathy for yourself and others.

Tip: Try writing a journal entry from someone else’s perspective. By imagining how someone else might see things, you can often find unexpected empathy.

5. Focus on What You Learned

Reflective observation is about connecting experience with learning. After you’ve unpacked details, reasons, and perspectives, ask yourself: What can I learn? This could be a realization about your own behavior, a newfound appreciation for someone in your life, or even a new way to approach similar situations in the future.

Tip: End each memory with a sentence or two that captures your takeaway. It doesn’t need to be profound—sometimes, the smallest insights can be the most powerful.

6. Be Intentional

Finally, the beauty of reflective observation is that it’s not just about the past; it’s also about shaping your future. When you finish writing, take a moment to consider how you can use this new understanding moving forward. How might you change your actions, expectations, and beliefs?

Tip: Set an intention based on what you’ve learned. This could be as simple as “I’ll remember to be more patient in similar situations” or as specific as “I’ll prioritize open communication when I’m feeling hurt.” Intentions bring your reflections full circle, allowing you to put your insights into practice.

Embrace Reflective Observation as a Growth Tool

Reflective observation transforms your memories into powerful tools for self-growth. By revisiting and examining your experiences, you can cultivate greater self-awareness, empathy, and resilience. So, the next time you sit down to write about a memory, remember to give yourself the space to explore it with open curiosity to build a wiser future.